Recently, post-placement contact agreements have become the standard for setting up how updates will be sent and received and how visits between birth parents, will look for the next 18 years. That piece of paper is supposed to make it clear what birth parents and adoptive parents agree upon. When everyone signs the contract, it creates a concrete guide that is useful for all. These contracts are legally enforceable in many states and birth parents, adoptive parents, and agencies can refer to it when one party or the other needs a little reminder.
But they are not perfect yet.
Things sometimes get tricky as time goes by. One party may not like the way things are going, but how can you change it? Especially if there’s been a lack of adherence to the contract on one side or the other or even on both sides!
For every agreement there are a set of stories about how it really played out.
What have your experiences been like with your post-placement contact agreement?
Do you feel like you really understood what you were committing to and expecting in the beginning?
What did you hope to achieve with the ongoing contact—more involvement in your child’s life, set the groundwork for a relationship in the future, etc?
What happens when you want to change something about the contract?